intervention.

folks, one of us has fallen asunder. i mention this not to initiate in Private Joking, which is still not cool, but to break the silence and, hopefully, to start the healing process. maybe some of you can relate to this and find comfort in knowing that You Are Not Alone. maybe some of you have loved ones with this condition, and you also can find comfort in knowing that You Are Not Alone. in either case, someone needs to address this pertinent and important issue.

french fries are classified in the Food Guide Pyramid as 'fats, oils, and sweets.' the Pyramid recommends that Most People should consume these foods sparingly. in that section of the Pyramid, there's not even a picture of french fries, or any other fat, oil, or sweet, so negligible their consumption should be. in other sections of the Pyramid, there are happy pictures of carrots and bananas and loaves of homemade bread. 'fats, oils, and sweets' only get little orange and blue dots. this is to indicate that they at the Food Guide Pyramid Center are really serious about 'sparingly.'

you are Most People.

i say this not to micromanage your food consumption, because that would be both Evil and Wrong. i say this because you are not Invincible, and you experience infrequent but not insignificant Chest Pains. you are 24 years old. you should not be experiencing Chest Pains.

when you are eating a sandwich that you acquired from a pizza restaurant that does not serve french fries, and you drop an onion into the box, and you forget about that onion, and you look at it in the poorly-lit car in which you are eating, and you drop your sandwich, pick up the onion, and exclaim 'fry! score!', this is Not Healthy.

'sparingly' does not mean 'thrice weekly.' 'sparingly' most likely means something more akin to 'once a month, twice a year, or never.'