dear sir,

thank you for grunting to indicate that it was okay for me to sit next to you. i understand that it was early and you didn't feel alert enough to reply with actual words. it also was an effective way to communicate your displeasure with both my request and my existence, while consenting to both.

i don't know if you were aware of this, but immediately following your response, i actually sat down in the seat. or, to be more accurate, i sat down in the three-inch triangle that was not occupied by your left leg. i congratulate you on your large penis thereby requiring the 180 degree angle of your knees. however, i promise you that nothing potentially life-threatening will happen if you close your fucking legs enough so that i can maneuver one full butt cheek onto the seat. my ass is compact, fits neatly in most carry-ons, and would not demand that your legs face in the same general direction.

please move your goddamn leg.


thank you.