in which silent porno becomes the new black.

for a long time i have watched porno with the sound on. it's an extremely amusing facet of the Motion Picture Of Strangers Having Sex experience. i can't get enough of the fake grunts and the easy listening electronica. i mean, a lot of times the sounds are far more entertaining than the conventional porno acts, carried out with the required absence of interest from any of the physically fit persons on screen. i know, there are plenty of pornos out there that have Real Couples that feign attraction a lot better than the average porn star, i know this. but my local video store carries none of those excellent titles, and they're expensive to order. not worth it. so my realization was that if i turn the sound off and pick my own soundtrack from my extensive and largely scratched cd collection, the porno-viewing extravaganza becomes entirely new and different. and i don't have to worry about turning the sound down on the laptop before my neighbors hear that i'm watching a porno. somehow this is more embarrassing to me than them hearing me actually have sex, which they've indicated they have indeed heard by the Excessive Eye Contact Aversion i have been subjected to on more than one occasion.

because i'm Free-Wheeling and Spontaneous and a Risk-Taker, i'm going to try out this new porno-viewing idea, and see which i like better. of course, they may not lend themselves to comparison. it might be, you know, like comparing pasta with veggie meatballs to beans and rice. they both are filling and have roughly the same nutritional content, it's just a matter of which one you feel like cooking. but either one of those inviting dishes compared to takeout, well, they can't measure up. surely the steep price of the takeout scores big points for the homecooked meal, but when all is said and done, laziness and the desire for a Complete Meal Featuring Real Live Vegetables will always win out. but enough with elaborate and maze-like food analogies. i was talking about porno. silent porno, with absolutely No Appearances Whatsoever Of Charlie Motherfucking Chaplin. that's just gross.