proving my extreme ignorance on all things falling under the category of Science.

i really don't see how it's Evolutionarily Beneficial for humans to have armpit hair. we started wearing clothes a long time ago, and most of the fibers we've been using for that time stretch have tended to keep moisture in, not Wick-It Away like the expensive outdoorsy outfits do. (what constitutes Wicking Something Away? what is Wicking? why did we let being outside morph into a leisure activity for the privileged?) when i sweat, my shirt gets wet in the armpit area, as do the armpit hairs, and usually at this time of year i am sweating because i am moving, not because it is warm outside. the cold coldness of the air then aerates around the wet area, and i start to shiver. sweating and shivering.

this makes for an inefficient Body Heat Regulation System. not that i'm hating on bodies, and especially not mine. i'm astounded by its adeptness, agility, and the ease in which it makes sure i have no need to know anything about what's going on with the complex operations it carries out. so i can think about other things, like uppity liberals or ridding baltimore city of french fry fanatics. that's why this is all so confusing, this oddly unproductive wetness in the armpit area. maybe i'm not supposed to be wearing cotton, but did animal wrappings really have any Wicking action? why the armpit hair? why the armpit moisture production that emanates from the armpit hair? alternating cycles of sweating and shivering aren't really doing much to promote homeostasis, just repeatedly sampling two extremes, so that i won't forget what it feels like to sweat, and then what it feels like to shiver.

for the record, body, i already know what it feels like. let's work together on this homeostasis thing. it's the new black.