in which The Post is briefly usurped.

everything started off brilliantly. a handshake, some non-witty light joking. there was even some generic but heartfelt criticism of The Asshole that enriched into a momentary sense of political camaraderie. i was into it. what happened?

i know that what you must have interpreted as my attempts at professionalism are a mockery to Real professionalism. i am quite aware that both my lack of years old and my secondhand puffy vest made any comparisons between myself and the rest of your customers an exercise in laughter restraint. but there's no need for restraint, really, it's cool. you see, anything with the word Power in it, be it PowerSuits, PowerLunches, and/or PowerPencils, i'm just not feeling them for myself peronally. i'm going for the suave, informal look, involving lots of amiable eye contact, shaking of hands, use of intelligent but unpretentious words. that's why i wanted to help start this new business. so i could work in the jovial company of puffy vests and cords. and so i could update my blog at any given point in the day, routinely pissing off the 3 people who check this site regularly.

(high-pitched little excited voice enters carrying Surreptitiousness and Mischief in her hot little mitts)

i'm just So crazy and spontaneous!!!!!!!!!

(high-pitched little excited voice exits dejected after enduring intensely blank stares and nervous coughing)

not that i suffer from any delusions of superiority over people that prefer to don the Gear Of Professionals. i'm just saying that i don't suffer from a sense of inferiority towards those individuals either.

underneath this red knitted cap is a big juicy brain that Does Not Enjoy Condescending Banter. see? here it is. i'm sure you wouldn't have interpreted your remarks that you were treating me similarly to college students that come in for a tour as Demeaning and Insulting. i'm sure you thought you were just supplying helpful information to someone who needed it. but i know what i'm doing.

i totally read like 4 whole books about this business before i started. 4 is a hell of a lot of books. and book learning totally makes up for any lack of years old or veritable experience in anything. academics say that shit all the time.

so no more judging books by the covers/puffy vests they happen to have, dammit. behind that cover there may be as many as 3 other books back there.

full of glossaries. that i perused. once. six months ago.