1.3.05

in which spontaneous Tourette's is feared.

when there are a large number of people that don't know each other in an intimate, cross-legged on the floor situation, it is nothing like a large number of people that don't know each other in a seated with real chairs situation. especially if the situation involves live theater. i think this might have something to do with my parents' strict regime since birth of making me view non-live moving images in lethal doses, but when i'm in front of real people performing, i get really, really scared.

that i'll accidentally emit an embarrassing bodily noise? nope, my self-control and precise muscular strength is matchless. that i'll have a sudden urge to use the bathroom facilities and i won't be able to do it without angering my slightly economically superior neighbors? see above.

what strikes terror into my viscous little heart is that i'll accidentally shout something completely inappropriate interrupting the performers and making me look like an ass. it's like all the rational centers get turned off right as the house lights dim down. 'you know, it's really quiet in here except for them up there, and if you shouted anything at all you would completely ruin everyone's train of thought and possibly get kicked out.' i mean, a natural thought, just my dasein considering all the potentialities-for-Being in its state of thrownness as a Being-in-the-world. the problem comes when i conclude that Thinking about this possibility might have some power to bring it into reality, which is like, just total bullshit, kid. you can't scream something on accident. a lot of things have to happen for a scream to flow out of your mouth. you have to tell your brain to open your mouth, then your brain has to open your mouth, then you have to tell your brain to start moving your vocal chords, then your brain... see, i'm getting bored of typing it, so there are a lot of things that have to happen.

of course, the brain is damn speedy when it comes to screaming/shouting. you know, so if you're in danger you can communicate it quickly. it would only take a fraction of a second to completely mortify both yourself and the theater date, and the Things that would have been beneficial to have post-theater date for use with the theater date, Things deeply buried in four opaque shopping bags in your backpack, which is also opaque, you would have brought them along for nothing. seeing as though she would rather pretend she doesn't know you, you're going to have to use those things by yourself.

again.

1 Comments:

At 1:15 AM, Blogger {illyria} said...

our mouth does no justice to the speed of our brains. not even logorrhea.

 

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